Bubba James (Excerpt From Part 2b)

Returning from a commercial on the set of the Janey Winger Show. Joe sits on stage, there are empty chairs around him. He looks shaken. Janey stands.

Janey: Hi, we're back. Now as you know, Joe Gimmel has been suspected of being the Peachpit Cat Killer. With us now, in an EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW, is Mr. Bubba James, who will shed some light on this.

Applause as Bubba James enters. He sits by Joe, scowling at him. Bubba throws a copy of "The Bully" in Joe's face.

Bubba James: Here!! You can have this back!!

Janey: So Mr. Gimmel sold your family something you really didn't need?

Bubba James: Not sold! Tricked!! Tricked my daughter into buying it! She even says she LIKES IT !! If I wanted to hear something like that, I'd just go catch me a mess of bees in a mason jar, shake it up and listen to that! Huh! For FREE !!!!

Janey: So you don't like---

Bubba James: (standing, gesturing) I'd ruther be whupped with a 2 by 4 !!!

Audience laughs, cheers.

Janey: But your daughter did have some positive things to say.......

Bubba James: Young'uns don't know NOTHING! I'd ruther have my hair yanked out with rusty pliers than listen to that!!! Mess of bees in a mason jar!!!

Janey: Please Mr. James...calm down!!

Bubba James: (Gets control) OK, OK...

Janey: Can you tell us about your first meeting with Joe Gimmel?

Bubba James: Well, he come to my house one day, he was being a real flirt, making moves on my daughter.........she's just a little girl you know.

Audience boos, screams.

Joe Gimmel: She's at LEAST 20 YEARS OLD!!

Security rushes to Joe, talking, shaking their fingers in Joe's face

Janey: I'm so sorry Mr. James, he's been so uncontrollable lately. Now, how did you know he was with your daughter in the house?

Bubba James: I was in another part of the house and I seen 'em on my home security closed circuits kinda video sorta thang!       

Janey: So the system you have to protect your home was working WELL that day?

Bubba James: Right! So I come in to save her, and this trash here, he's talking about KILLING SOME CATS!!!!!!!

Audience gasps.

Joe Gimmel: I ....agreed with... that was just to make a sale!

Janey: RUN THE TAPE!!!!!!

 The surveillance video is shown, short segment.

Joe Gimmel: (In video) I hate cats! They deserved what they got..ha ha....

Back to the set. Audience is incensed, screaming, booing.

Janey: Appalling!!!

Audience: Murderer!! Murderer!!          

Janey:(more angry) I have cats!!!

Audience: (stomping feet) Murderer!! Murderer!!

Janey: You scum!!

Audience is livid, one person tries to rush the stage, Security holds him back.

Janey: I have cats!!

Janey loses control, yanks Joe out of his seat and begins skillfully punching him with some quick boxing moves.

Janey: That aerobics boxing infomercial I hosted is finally paying off!!!!!

The audience is ecstatic. They scream in ecstasy. Many chant "Go Janey Go Janey" as they spasmodically do the "Raise the roof" gesture. Many swoon from the excitement, fainting in the aisles. Some are shown crying tears of joy.

Janey: Cat Killer!!!!!!

She continues punching, Joe tries to deflect the blows but some strike him. Security does nothing, they are more concerned with trying to help audience members who have fainted. Finally Joe runs off stage. He is shown going out the backstage door, through the parking lot, and escaping in his car.

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