Opening Scene Part 1

Two 30-something men sit at a table in a trendy coffeeshop. Around them sit many 20 something "hipsters." It is 5 in the afternoon. In the corner, a TV is playing . As the 2 men talk, the evening news comes on.

Joe Gimmel: Yeah....you know, I was the top vacuum cleaner salesman AGAIN last month... guess the management wants to give somebody else a chance. Plus it's PAID of course.

Joe Gimmel: Ahhhh.... I haven't been too lucky with women since Nancy and I went through....the .....

Joe Gimmel: You know.........the place I was at this past week.....Peachpit.....there seemed like a lot of decent people there.......

The entire place gets very quiet as the TV news begins. Everyone's attention is focused on the TV. Closeups of the TV news are shown along with patron's reactions.

TV narrator: THIS IS THE CHANNEL SEVEN REAL EYE NEWS SERVING CHARLOTTE, THE CAROLINAS, AND THE ENTIRE WORLD!!

Suddenly the screen is filled with amateur videos of horrible accidents, shootings, suicides, domestic quarrels, arrests, and explosions. Some patrons gasp, some laugh, some turn away, one stands and screams "THERE HE GOES AGAIN" as a man jumps off a skyscraper.

TV narrator: AND REMEMBER CHANNEL SEVEN NEWS WILL PAY 1000 DOLLARS FOR YOUR REAL EYE NEWS VIDEO CLIP IF IT IS SELECTED AS THE REAL EYE NEWS VIDEO CLIP OF THE DAY !!!!!!! ANY STATE, ANY COUNTRY, ALL WE ASK IS THAT IT BE A CURENT INCIDENT THAT HAS NOT BEEN AIRED ANYWHERE ELSE !!!!!!!

Paula Crawford: And on today's show we will see what happens when a construction worker...welllllllllllll IT'S COMING UP SOON!! But first......our lead story...

Various Patrons: What could it be....... construction......STEAM SHOVELS?? ....... A wrecking ball ????

Paula Crawford: Last night in Peachpit, South Carolina 13 cats were murdered at the Peachpit Home for Homeless Cats..... Home.jpg (107233 bytes)

The crowd gasps. An eerie silence settles over the coffeeshop as quick, tilted closeups show the shocked, angry faces of individual patrons. Joe and Bob look shocked, surprised.

Paula Crawford: The bodies were discovered this morning by Katy Wood, director of the shelter......we now take you LIVE to REAL COPTER SEVEN, high over Peachpit... Klinton.....

Klinton: Hi, this is Klinton in the REAL COPTER. As you can see, police investigators are still in the shelter gathering evidence. Now, a large crowd has gathered outside to show their support and DISGUST......oh my GAH........QUICK, FILM THAT IDIOT !!!!!!!!

The camera swings away from the scene on the ground to catch an antique Steerman biplane zooming past. Two men, one piloting and speaking into a headset mike, and one filming the scene below, are in the plane. The pilot gives the "FINGER" to the copter as they swoop past. The plane suddenly swoops downward, buzzes the crowd, then climbs skyward in a show of acrobatic flying skill.

Various Patrons: TURN IT TO 69 !!! 69!!!! NO WAY MAN !!! WE COULD MISS THE REAL EYE VIDEO !!!!!! 69 !!!! OH MAN !!!!!THE REAL VIDEO!!!! HEY CALM DOWN PEOPLE !!!! BE QUIET !!!!!

Klinton: You know, someday we're gonna have our own REAL EYE VIDEO of that.........BARON 69......

Klinton: Sorry....anyway...we now go to our reporter on the ground, Summer Cale.

A woman holds a microphone. She is in the midst of a huge crowd of people of various ages. Behind her, some teens are jumping and waving at the camera. Some are chanting "WE'RE NUMBER ONE" while holding up their index fingers.

Summer Cale: With me is Mrs. Twitty Benkins, a resident of the nearby neighborhood. Mrs. Benkins.....How has this IMPACTED you?

Twitty Benkins: (with a thick country twang) Why, It's just terrible !!!! I'm scared !!!! Whoever'd kill off them cats, why no tellin' WHAT they'd do to a old widow woman like me !!!!

Twitty Benkins: It's gotta be the last days !!! World's coming to a END !!!!!!! It's in the good book !!!!

Twitty Benkins: Killing of the cats !!!!! I'm just a poor old widow woman !!!! In the good book !!!

Summer Cale quickly moves to another person, a woman of about 29 holding a large white cat.

Suddenly a 15 year old boy breaks from the crowd, which is still chanting and waving. He runs in front of Summer and Katy, begins to oddly dance and gesticulate wildly for the camera, then suddenly jumps up, lands on his head, and begins twirling rapidly. His hands power him on as he is now almost a blur.

Summer Cale: It seems we have someone...I guess they think we're talent scouts....(angry) Katy, over here......

Summer and Katy move away. The camera stays on the teen and the crowd, now chanting "Go Billy Go Billy"

Dick Huston: It seems we're having some technical problems there....we'll be back in just a SECOND with more on this HORRIBLE story along with today's REAL EYE VIDEO CLIP !!

There is a very quick shot of a construction site, some people start to run, then a quick still shot of the logo "CHANNEL SEVEN REAL EYE NEWS"

Opening Scene (Excerpt From Part 1)